Tinder and Blind

A once single Tinder obsessed bad dater London girl living in Dubai, to a step-mum who bagged a boy in Dubai, now living in London

Month: July, 2014

Pre bridesmaid Juice Cleanse

Nothing like a best mate..

Nothing like a best mate..



It’s Sunday morning and I wake up with a festival hangover and the realisation that I have six days until two of my best friends tie the knot. Do I get emosh at the thought of these two very important people in my life spending their lives in marital bliss? Well, of course.. but this also means I have five days to squeeze into a bridesmaid dress I had made a size smaller than me.

What was I thinking?

“Oh I’ve got loads of time to drop a dress size, so can you make it smaller?” I asked as the dressmaker sucked me in and stuck pins through the silk.
“Remember we can’t add material, we’ll be cutting it off so you really can’t put any weight on if you want me to make this dress smaller” she replied.
Pff, duh, of course I’ll lose an inch in two and a half months, easy! Plus this is an incentive for me to have to lose weight. Of course I won’t be attending two booze fuelled festivals, a BBQ, copious amounts of dinner events, post work drinks in the sun, client breakfasts, or lunches.

Well I wasn’t planning on it, but it happened.

Extreme measures now need to be taken. So as I’m lying in bed I flick through next week’s work and personal diary with bated breath and see I don’t have any planned food engagements until Wednesday night; a three course dinner at the Hurlingham Club with clients, then date night at STK on Thursday.. so I have the first part of the week to work with.

What do I do? I run- yes, literally run four miles from my house to The Juice Well in Soho, through a major storm might I add. I arrive at the immaculate store on Peter Street, made up of high tech fridges which house bottles of colourful liquid. After talking to an expert nutritionist and juicemaster I’m told all juices are cold pressed, meaning they retain all nutrients, unlike traditional juicers which just extract the juice and taste nice. I’m told I can either do an intense green cleanse or a rainbow cleanse.


My breakfast and lunches

The green is made up of 6 bottles containing just 753 calories between them. This is a leaner, more challenging cleanse with a huge hit of chlorophyll which is deeply cleansing and detoxifying.
The combined daily intake of these 6 juices deliver more than 100% RDA of 19 vital vitamins & minerals and also contains 96% RDA of soluble fibre.

I couldn’t hack just 753 calories a day so I bought one day’s worth of the rainbow cleanse for £36 after being told that having a cleanse with as many pigments of the fruit & vegetable rainbow ensures you are getting the broadest nutrient dense cleanse possible.
The combined daily intake of these juices is 1090 calories & they deliver more than 100% RDA of 23 vital vitamins & minerals. There is also plenty of soluble fibre.

My plan? Split them across three days, replacing my breakfast and lunches with juice and having a proper meal for dinner. This is also because I’m doing around an hour of exercise a day and I still need to fuel my little muscles.

So I buy the rainbow cleanse, but I’m also starving so I buy  ‘The Daddy’ smoothie as my first meal of the day while I’m there, for another £6.


daddy smoothie

The Daddy Smoothie

That smoothie lasts me an hour and a half as I battle through the rain again and plonk myself on a tube seat home. At around 8pm I venture downstairs and am faced with a cooked roast chicken in the kitchen just staring at me, while my housemates have had a roasted feast. I close my eyes, open the fridge and pluck out a bottle of total green cleanse. Mmm dinner.

Last night's dinner

Last night’s dinner

That was yesterday.

This morning I wake up feeling ridiculously tired, eyes heavy and head light. I struggle to get dressed without collapsing onto my bed about six times. That could just be the extended festival hangover. I grab my bag of juice out of the fridge and start off with a bottle of reverse osmosis water (filtered, cleanest, most pure form of water there is, appaz) before cracking open a ‘Hunger Buster’ charcoal juice when I get on the tube. The black drink certainly attracts a few stares, along with a knowing glance from a skinny blonde who has most definitely done a juice detox, or twelve.

Hunger Buster

Hunger Buster

That lasts me ages and is actually quite nice, and before I know it it’s 11am and  I’m due juice number two ‘Bodyguard’. Unfortunately Whitney doesn’t blast out upon opening, but my reaction to the taste did require a minder. Extremely tangy and eye squinting. I could definitely taste sweet potato and lime, I prefer my sweet potatoes in the form of fries, from Hawksmoor.




This one takes me two and a half hours to finish. Meanwhile at work I have already had a conversation with a client and called her the wrong name, three times. This is someone I’ve worked with for a year. Talk about juice brain.

Third juice is lunch, a ‘Green & Lean’ which I thought would be a winner as I’m partial to a green juice anyway. Not the case. Before opening it I take a walk to Topshop, and while walking through the handbag section, the smell of leather makes me think of cows, which leads me on to crave steak. I hurry through that section and buy myself a pair of shoes as a reward for not caving into anything apart from juice (and heels).

Green and Lean

Green and Lean

This was another tangy one, lemon is basically what I could taste. In fact, three hours later and I still have about three sips left in the bottle. I should be on my fourth juice by now but I’m surprisingly full. Despite the steak image (medium rare fillet with béarnaise sauce accompanied by sweet potato fries and asparagus) not even thinking about that, not at all..

My mid morning snack

However, I promised myself a proper meal a day to help sustain myself so I’m going to have dinner but just need to take it easy seeing as I haven’t ingested solids since my post Lovebox munchies on Saturday night.

Tomorrow I have yoga at 7am and bootcamp at 6pm so I need to ensure my final day is stuck to without using calorie burn as an excuse.

Update tomorrow..


Tomorrow is today. Day 3

Last night was a mare. Remember how much I was looking forward to a meal for dinner last night? well, I was. I waited alllll day for a home cooked meal after my cousin invited the family over for dinner. We get to her house and she announces that they’ve all been out for the day and had a huge pub lunch, but that she had brought back the most amazing mushroom pie. Great news for my brother, not so great for me who can’t eat mushrooms without puking. So as I watch my brother eat his and my pie, I think this can only be a good thing, no carbs. Instead, my cousin makes me a fruit platter of strawberries, raspberries, apple and grapes. I eat my ‘dinner’ while my brother fully lols at the situation. I get home and sleep, surprisingly fulfilled.

Got up at 6am for my yoga class this morning, walked past various food establishments towards Regents Park including the aptly named ‘EAT’ which I nodded at and thought to myself ‘I know, I know, I’m mental’. After an energetic yoga class (I swear you’re not supposed to break a sweat) I arrived into work around 9am for my first juice of the day: ‘Deep Purple’ aka beetroot, carrot and cucumber juice. All I could taste was beetroot and it left me with some sexy (not) stained lips.

deep purple


I then had a lot of work to do so didn’t have time to think about food until around midday when I cracked open my final juice of the course; a spicy gazpacho little number, tasted wellll nice! I really wanted to heat it up and have it as soup because it tasted like I should be having it with crusty bread. Alas no, it was in it’s bottle and I sipped around a quarter of it before feeling a bit nauseous. I also feel weirdly bloated seeing as I haven’t eaten anything in three days.

Spicy gazpacho


Realising I have bootcamp after work and I really don’t want to get injured or collapse due to lack of energy, I ventured out to Leon (via Ted Baker) and picked up a tomato, feta and lentil salad. Everything I have been reading has said to avoid dairy during and after a juice cleanse, of course I didn’t register this information into my brain until my first bite of feta. Too late. Yolo.

leon salad

I then had solid back to back meetings for three hours. One client wanted to go out to soak up the sun: ‘Tanisha, let’s go to the pub for our meeting, it’s too sunny to be inside’. Great.. pub=wine. Know what I did? I’m so bloody proud of myself for this.. I took him to his pub and I ordered myself a green tea. GO ME. AND I even left the amaretto biscuit on the saucer like a poor little loner.

Venturing back to the office after my meetings and again I’m very aware I haven’t had any protein intake. Bootcamp is bloody hard work; weights, cardio, kettlebells for a solid hour and I really don’t want to be stupid and injure myself from lack of strength and consequently have to wheel down the aisle in front of the bride on Saturday. With this in mind, on my way back to the office I drop into Itsu and grab a salmon and tuna tartar for a pure protein hit. Even if psychologically that makes me feel better, I’ve done it and I can’t blame my juice on any injuries!

Tonight will be a protein shake after bootcamp and then straight to bed.

So, after having two meals a day replaced by juice (kinda), I can honestly say I didn’t feel ravenous over the last three days.  I didn’t have any chocolate cravings but I think that was down to me being really busy with work and not having time to reach for biscuits. Bearing in mind day 1 was on an extreme hangover, so I couldn’t tell the difference if I was hanging or hungry.

I don’t think I could hack a full blown juice detox though, two meal replacements has been enough and although I have lost 4lbs in this time, I’m still bloody bloated. Spanx for Saturday it is.



When Should We Become Grown-ups?


Last week one of my best friends announced her pregnancy, months after I was bridesmaid at her and her teenage sweetheart’s wedding. I am totally over the moon for her and she’s so ready to be an amazing mum. After the news, I couldn’t help comparing how different our lives are; both the same age, brought up in the same town, going to the same school and even the same uni at one point.

The difference? Lifestyle. I’m totally not ready for marriage and kids.

Me and my London friends say when it comes to settling down there’s a five year delay in London. We are social butterflies, out Wednesday- Saturday as standard most weeks, either at work events, client entertaining or with eachother for drinks or checking out whatever new pop up the city has to offer (in-between the bootcamps and latest yogilates classes of course). The majority of my London friends are single, I’m lucky as the ones who aren’t are just as fun and make the most of London life without letting their partners get in the way. The association of getting into a relationship is often negative through the eyes of single friends though:’God, she’s turned into such a bore since she’s started seeing so & so’.. Up until that moment we are all fishing for uptotheminute goss on the essence Sloane Square club promoter, the hot personal trainer, or whoever else has made the fit list that week. We want it to go well for them and we even have code names for the dates, but the second it turns into the fourth or fifth date, we panic, we don’t want to lose our wingwomen to the perils of a relationship with a boy. Pitchers of Pimms sat outside after a summer working day turns into a quick standing-up-outside-the-pub g&t because they have dinner plans with their new beau. Nooooo.


So for us Londoners, when should we settle down? I read a ’20 things single girls should do in their 20s’ list, and I’m on top of them all, and I am in love with my life, and yes there’s a but. At thirty do we all just turn into boring married couples?
Rachel from Friends freak out coming up: Ideally I want to be married for at least a year before the kid card gets raised..before marriage I would need to be living with the guy for around two years before he puts a ring on it, and before moving in with him I would need to know him for what, a year or more? Now I’m not the best at maths but if I’m expected to settle by the time I’m thirty, that means I need to find Mr Right, like, right now.
All of my single friends here have exactly the same mindset, we often talk about how much we love our lives and how lucky we are, we don’t take it for granted, not one bit. A friends boss told her the other day to stay single as long as she possibly can, because now he’s in his 40’s with two young kids, holidays are a fortune, he can’t remember the last time he woke up past 6am and he has resorted to shopping at Lidl after years of being a loyal Waitrose customer. He loves it though, he said to her that he well and truly lived his younger years how he wanted to, doing some raucous things in his early twenties and being a total lad right up until he got engaged. He told her once he knew he didn’t want to sleep with soho sluts anymore, he found the woman he knew he could ‘have on tap’, thus making her his wife. He is the most content man she knows, because he really did wait until he knew he wouldn’t be tempted by other women, or the lifestyle that comes with working in the media.

The thing is, I am extremely career minded and ambitious, and lacking time in my day to cram everything else in, let alone a man (obviously you can make time for what matters). I want a family one day but I don’t want any regrets, I want to bring up a family in the knowledge that I haven’t missed out on anything, I’m a total FOMO-er (fear of missing out) as it is, imagine holding my own baby and wishing I had done more with my life before having to dedicate my life to someone else way more important than myself? I have pledged to myself that I will only be holding my own baby when I’m totally content and have built a career successful enough to take time out and buy baby clothes.. After finding ‘the one’, or after he finds me.


I’m currently reading ‘Lean In’ by Sheryl Sandberg- voted one of the worlds most influential women by Forbes, and she interestingly brings up this point. She notes that in her time as a woman in business, the amount of women she has seen who freak out at my age, thinking they have to choose between a career or kids often means they turn down promotions or more responsibility in their jobs because they know they want children while they’re still at child bearing age, so don’t want to jeopardise that chance by having to choose their careers. She points out that once they sacrifice steps in their careers because they have a partner successful enough to carry them through, or are too scared to take on too much and not making it work, they are much farther back than if they had taken that promotion and waited another year to have children, as they could have then provided even more and gotten straight back into their jobs at a more powerful position, thus being advantageous for their children’s future as well as their own contentment.


So what I’m getting at is, 25 is the perfect age to have children if, like my friend, you’re in complete contentment with your life, have an amazing husband, the love and support around you to bring one up well, which she does, and most importantly be happy in your situation. She will also easily get her figure back having her babs at this age!
I’m definitely years behind that, but importantly, I’m totally ok with it. We all have different choices in life, mine is to do everything I want to do, be totally selfish and treat myself when I like, because then when I have a family, I know that everything I live for and do will be for them and not myself thus never being resentful.
In the meantime, I cannot wait to hit Hamleys and baby shop for the new member of our crew!