I was in a three year relationship, single for nine months then back into a four year relationship topped with mortgage and cat. It’s been two years since my singledom (single freedom) began and I have loved every single (no pun intended) second.
I’m not being bitter and trying to offend all my friends and those who are in relationships, as I think relationships are great. I have many married and settled coupled-up friends who are happy as Larry and I would never tell them that being single is better than being in their relationships. So this post is for single people (please don’t blame me for break-ups after reading).
Between the Sheets
Let’s talk about the bed situation. We have it all to ourselves (apart from the odd Saturday morning when we’ve woken up with an arm and a leg sprawled across a visitor), but the majority of the time we can starfish the shit out of our Egyptian cotton. Wriggle room a-plenty. We can also stay in bed as long as we like on Saturday mornings without feeling like we should really be making the most of the weekend off together with our other halves. Just you and me, beddy.
No one to Answer to
Remember the days of ‘what time do you reckon you’ll be home?’ texts. Gone are those. We can rock up at 4am and sleep on the doormat for an hour before stumbling up the stairs and on top of our beds (because sometimes we don’t have the capacity to pull the covers over us after drinking) and no one will demand the bloody Spanish Inquisition as to where we’ve been and why we didn’t let them know.
Freedom of Choice
A lot of my friends have dedicated date nights and dedicated friend nights. I just have a ‘yes’ ethos. My diary is busier than Piccadilly Circus because I find it hard saying no when someone wants to do something. I have options most evenings which I have the choice to pick from, if I’m asked to a launch party on the day, I don’t have to let my boyfriend down by choosing to attend that over Nando’s with him. No guilt= good times. I must also add that I do like a night in, I mean I cherish those nights. Going out all the time is fattening.
This is our time to learn what we like and what we don’t like in the opposite sex. Dating’s purpose is to essentially find a potential life partner, but we rarely find them straight away. A diamond in the rough takes a lot of time to source, and during this period of singledom we will come across and meet an array of people who we learn from. Mainly ‘we never want to date a weirdo like that again’ but we still learn. We will meet people in various ways, some we have a lot in common with, some not so much. Even if it’s discovering that we’re attracted to someone with an interest in Ornithology, who new!
Now, before you start, I know you can travel with your partner. It’s one of my goals to travel the world with my future boyfriend/fiancé/husband/morelikelycat, so I’m not saying you can’t do that without having the best time. I’m talking about holidays, travelling with friends, doing everything you want without having to be aware of and think *I shouldn’t really go to this club in Bali tonight because I know the guys we met at the airport will be there and I will find it hard to resist temptation * .Get it out of your system while you’re young and single then you won’t have any regrets or resentment when you settle.
These are just my personal bests from single life. There are many more and there are obviously disadvantages to being single as well: wedding invites -1, being the third wheel to your loved up couple mates, sex is no longer on tap (unless you put out easily, but no one wants to be riddled so maybe steer clear of being easy), spooning, stealing food off their plate…the list goes on. But while you’re single you shouldn’t be sad about these things because you’ve either already had all that and it didn’t work out for a reason, or you’ve got it all to come with someone made for you, all in good time.
In the meantime, squeeze the crap out of single life, live it to the full and make the most of it because chances are you won’t be single forever (unless you’re a total twat).