Tinder and Blind

A once single Tinder obsessed bad dater London girl living in Dubai, to a step-mum who bagged a boy in Dubai, now living in London

Tag: Tinder

What a Difference Two Years Makes..Not Much

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Since starting this blog two years ago to the day (thanks Facebook Memories for reminding me) I have been on circa 50 dates, including a kinda, sorta, long term-ish, long distance relationship, countless idiots who can’t differentiate your and you’re, and a couple of constant ‘nice guys’ who I friendzoned the minute we met.

I want to summarise the past two years of dating and what I have learnt, also why I choose to remain single.

The first person I started seeing after my ex screwed me over was a guy who was screwing his girlfriend over. From being cheated on, I was now the other woman without even knowing- it’s okay though, because his girlfriend and I became friends and still are to this day (happy birthday Luce!).

I then joined this magical soul destroying app called Tinder, which is what gave this blog its namesake. After agreeing to go on dates with lads via a swipe, I encountered some experiences worth noting down. Hence TinderandBlind was born and has gained around 4,000 views per post. Blows me away even after two years that I have that many people reading my ridiculous (and unfortunately true) stories, at least my Journalism degree didn’t go to total waste, eh dad.

The second ‘proper’ one was Dubai Guy- didn’t end well as he was screwing another girl at the same time as leading me on too, bravo.

Understandably I considered lesbianism (is it an ism?) but women, I find, are more complicated than men, and I want/deserve to be the complicated one.

After moving to Dubai last year I obviously went back on Tinder to see what this city had to offer. Cheetah’s riding passenger side of their best friends ride seemed to be a recurring theme.  No offence, but if you’ve got a Cheetah in your Land Rover, you’re not only a bloody mentalist but you’re restricting a wild animal, and I ain’t down for that. I also ain’t down for being a newspaper headline: “Tinder Date Mauled by Big  Cat after Refusing to Ride in Car”.

I deleted Tinder and met people the real way. Unfortunately that meant I met characters like Parrot Boy (see previous post), who by the way, I went on a second date with.. he got more drunk than me and mid date asked if I was friendzoning him because he couldn’t read me. Meanwhile two guys were sat on the next table ‘people watching’ us. I found this hilarious because they came to my rescue after Parrot Boy asked to go back to mine, and when I point blank refused, even using a really gross excuse that he didn’t accept, these guys helped. I ended up having a bloody great night and making two new friends. I should probably dedicate a whole post to that night, because it was a cracker..to be continued.

I then went on holiday with my ex before going back on Tinder, and have been on a date recently which actually didn’t turn out too badly for a change.

All in all, relationship-wise, I am still where I was exactly two years ago, single but happy.

I love not being in a relationship, I love spending my free time with my friends and not feeling guilty for it. And you may say that’s because I have suppressed my emotions to the point of not remembering good parts of a relationship, that may be true and I may be protecting myself, but yolo, I’m not committed to anyone. If in two years time I’m still writing posts about dating guys who never knew that Victoria Beckham was a fashion designer, then yes I will be slightly less happy than I am now, and also probably 70% lesbian.

In the meantime I want to thank all the people who read my crazy escapades and for your comments too. I also contribute for Elite Daily but always post the originals on here first so you guys get first read. Here’s to the evolution of TaB. Much love

 

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The Camp Bristolian

Date of date: 25th February
Name: Tom
Source: Tinder

After chatting on Tinder for about a week, this guy seems like a total dreamboat. He’s good looking, quick with the banter and has an interesting job. He’s not lived in London for too long so asks me out for a drink and suggests I choose the venue. I tell him to meet me at a place called Green Carnation in Soho.

‘Erm, you do realise Green Carnation is a gay and lesbian bar?’ says one of my colleagues after I tell him what I’m doing that night. Well no, I didn’t. I mean I know that Soho is predominantly a gay area yes, but I thought this particular bar was open for all. Apparently not. But I’ve been before and was oblivious, so now I’m totally conscious that this guy has googled the place and either thinks a)I’m having him on and am going to stitch him up while he’s surrounded by a load of hungry men (which in hindsight, he would probably have enjoyed. More of why later), or b) he thinks I’m bi.

So I text him changing the venue, recommended by my colleague who clearly knows Soho better than me.
Meanwhile I get a huge amount of work in from a client, with a short turnaround. I do a quick calculation (I’m shit at maths) and figure I will be about 20 minutes late in meeting him- so I let him know.

I turn up an hour and a half late. Feeling very bad and apologising via text every half an hour until I meet him, he tells me he’s at Be At One in Piccadilly, he clearly didn’t trust my second venue after the first blunder- or he’s been there and drank his hours worth before a change of scenery.

By the time I arrive he’s already made friends with the bar staff and they clap when I sit down. I feel myself blush and apologise prefusely, offering to buy the (my) first drinks, but I see he already has two drinks in front of him so I assume one is for me, I thank him and take it. Turns out it’s happy hour and he had stocked up for himself- what am I like!..

I’m not a snob, but Be At One wouldn’t be my first choice when it comes to cocktails- it’s more of a student wetherspoons pre drink type place isn’t it, so I suggest Archer Street, a much nicer bar where the waitresses break out into song every now and then, plus the cocktails are amaze. So we go there after I down a watered down mojito.

Archer Street means I can also hear his voice and make conversation.. this is when it registers. He’s camp, very, very camp, camper than a row of tents. He sounds a cross between Joe Pasquale and Josie Gibson from Big Brother- you know, the big Bristolian lass who went out with Jon James and lost loads of weight, now looks amazing.
He’s from the Westcountry, as am I, but every time he talks I just take it as comedy value. I have an ex colleague called Joe (now a very successful actor in Broadchurch, little plug there for you Joe, as if you need it) and those who know Joe, knows he is the most Bristolian person in the world, now this date I would say, was more so. I literally wanted to bottle him up and open him whenever I wanted to laugh. Unfortunately, we were on a date and his intentions were far from being bottled up. I was asking him questions just so I could hear him talk.
I found out he was one son out of five sisters, so I asked the question. Yes I’d had a few Tom Collins’ by this point so I figured it was a perfectly normal question: ‘did your parents ever think that you’d have such a female influence that you’d be gay?’ his answer ‘my parents love a gay so they wouldn’t mind’… this makes me think he probably is gay and is on a date with me to test the waters, see if he can be swayed into liking girls. Well after being held waiting at a Be At One for 1.5 hours and being asked loads of questions so I could memorise his accent, probably would turn anyone gay.

So we leave. He tells me I’m his first Tinder date, and now imagine the most Bristolian, camp accent ever.. he says to me:
‘Well I think that went quite well, don’t you love?’
I lol. I say ‘yes, I had the best time’ which isn’t a lie. I had a lot of fun, but I wish he was my gay best straight mate. He then says:
‘Defo do this again maid, text me some dates you’re free’.

With that, we get on our separate tubes at Piccadilly and the odd text was exchanged a week or so after. There was no romance there but I would happily help him find his Mr Right.. if he does indeed swing that way.