The (Possible) Winning Formula
by Write by Tanisha
I wrote a post a while back entitled ‘Why Won’t He Chat Me up?’ whereby the only male species who did chat me up came up with lines like poor old Ryan here. I had planned to do some experiments. They would include going out with the girls, going out with a mixed group, going out on my own, dressing to the nines, dressing down, no makeup, etc etc. Unfortunately although most of these has technically been practised, I get too blackout to remember that I should be writing about it.
Since moving to Dubai a year ago, my social life has and does mainly consist of going out in a mixed group, and staying within our group. When out with the girls on ladies nights we stick together and rarely speak to men. If we get approached we usually fob them off with ‘it’s girls night, soz.’ Because we’re genuinely catching up with each other.. hashtag girlpower.
Last weekend I went out for post-work drinks with a fellow single girl friend for the first time in a loooong time. Within 10 minutes we were approached. Granted this guy knew my friend so came over to introduce himself, then I proceeded to embarrass myself by saying rather loudly ‘oh my god he was SO FIT’, not realising he had walked back right at the precise moment I’d opened my mouth. But this is just what I’ve learnt to accept, my timely shit timings.
Before long we had attracted more male attention and we both looked at eachother like ‘what’s going on, this doesn’t usually happen?!’. The following night I went out again, this time with a bunch of gay guys as my beloved friend and Editor of a well known magazine (going to miss my free review nights) is leaving the Middle East. So in full fag hag mode I was, and I loved it. It was obvious the guys I was with were gay, which meant it actually attracted MORE (straight) men. Gay guys make the best wingmen EVER. I mean, they have so much confidence that it rubs off on you, and makes you lose your, erm, inhibitions.
After the weekend I reflected on the amount of black outs and the amount of conversations with males that I’d never have had if I was out with a group of 5+ girls. In previous posts I have mentioned how my single guy friends won’t approach groups of girls because they feel intimidated and don’t want to even attempt it, the fear of rejection.
I updated my single friend about the amount of confident interactions with potentials (like actual hot guys, not chavs) I’d had that weekend, and we both agreed that going out as two females for a casual couple of drinks was the winning formula. I must also add that it depends on the sort of place you’re in. If you’re in Rock Bottoms on a Thursday night, I wouldn’t be inclined to reach for the Tiffany catalogue. However, somewhere laid back but nice, like DIFC (read: MEN IN SUITS), you’re likely to mix with a slightly higher calibre and have more intelligent conversation. I must caveat that not all great men work there, there might be some around, like, the marina and stuff.
This way you aren’t repelling men just by being in a group of females with more matte lipped pouts between them than Sephora, and if you’re not interested in someone who approaches you, there’s still two of you so you can pretend you’re a lesbo couple, which we may have done (okay we definitely did this at one point in the night, but it was to get away from a 50+ year old Arab who wanted to take us to meet his dogs in his Land Rover, with a view to going to his hotel- apparently the Burj al Arab). No regrets.
I mean you don’t HAVE to pretend to be lesbians, you can also use the excuse that you haven’t caught up for a long time. Guys will understand that it’s a polite ‘boy, bye’.
In conclusion, we have decided that as well as keeping our ladies nights and our mixed brunches with our lovely crews, it is probably important to get out there and not be intimidating, a casual drink as a two or three with a friendly smile as opposed to our usual resting bitch face.